tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post2302288241916629051..comments2024-02-26T19:17:44.872-08:00Comments on Living with PTSD and TBI: A Damage Control Confession for the US ArmyUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-69055013616990078572012-08-15T14:22:54.175-07:002012-08-15T14:22:54.175-07:00I thank your husband and you for your sacrifice bo...I thank your husband and you for your sacrifice both during active service and especially now. My life has not been directly involved with this exact issue, but I too have been frustrated with searching for answers in my life and not finding them. I am better now because I was forced through experience to turn to complementary/alternative methods for answers. One of the best things I did for myself was to find an essential oil that triggered my relaxation response through breathing. Essential oils have a (nearly) direct influence on the amygdala which is also involved in our flight or fight response. Good luck. I'll pray for you and check back later.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-67703342813026394722012-06-15T10:43:54.276-07:002012-06-15T10:43:54.276-07:00I just found this blog today while at the VA with ...I just found this blog today while at the VA with my husband for a second attempt at getting PTSD diagnosed. My heart breaks for you but I want you to know you are not alone. So many of the symptoms you have described are just like my own experience. This disease is horrible and I feel so naive that I ate up ye Army line. My husband is not the same and damnit, I am not idealizing him either. May God bless you and your family for your sacrifice.WhatWeDream4https://www.blogger.com/profile/03644964382899137517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-10558753873875076412012-05-23T18:45:12.153-07:002012-05-23T18:45:12.153-07:00you are amazing. period!you are amazing. period!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-67936703326244464242012-04-29T08:30:12.357-07:002012-04-29T08:30:12.357-07:00You are not alone - and my heart beaks for you. Yo...You are not alone - and my heart beaks for you. You have been to hell and back. There are so many wives out there suffering through ptsd/tbi in one way or another. Some of us still have husbands in active duty. Mine suffered a tbi in Iraq in 2009 (categorized as mild to moderate) and was also diagnosed with ptsd upon his return. I live with a stranger - a shell of a man. The kicker? He functions well at work, and deploys to Afghanistan in June. Dealing with an angry stranger 24/7 along with a teenaged bipolar son has left me somewhat shell-shocked. I work fulltime and can't even explain how I get through the days - auto pilot I guess. I gave notice at my job and I'm taking my son and moving back home with my family for the year my husband's deployed while I figure out what to do. Wish I could be strong and say I'm willing to "stick this marriage marriage out" for the long haul . Not sure I'm willing to do that. Can't speak out in a real way for fear of hurting his career (the one thing he DOES care about) What I can do? Figure out the best way to take care of me and our son.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-18596675922120706372012-04-20T20:34:51.634-07:002012-04-20T20:34:51.634-07:00I've been sitting here for the last ten minute...I've been sitting here for the last ten minutes trying to think of the right thing to say. I've got nothing. All I can say is I'm so sorry you're going through this, and that you're not alone, and that I'm so proud of you for doing what you did to protect yourself, your kids, and your husband.<br />HugsElisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10601177417359248951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-34619788973326525742012-04-20T11:14:00.396-07:002012-04-20T11:14:00.396-07:00Kat, I am so, so sorry this is happening to your f...Kat, I am so, so sorry this is happening to your family. I was hoping that after the suicide attempt last year help would have come and made a positive impact. I wish I had the words to make you feel better and the cure for your husband.. but I don't. Please, please know that there are people out here who care. From your writing, it seems that you are dealing with things as well as anyone could. You planned an escape for your kids, you asked for help in all the right places. That it wasn't provided isn't a reflection on you. Shame on them. I hope this reaches the right people and that something is done for your family.Liznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-16833330656876567352012-04-20T10:12:51.465-07:002012-04-20T10:12:51.465-07:00Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. You have t...Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. You have thrown a life line that I am not sure I would have found on my own. My husband was recently diagnosed with PTSD and TBI after his second suicide attempt in 5 years. I knew my husband before the war, but began dating and married him 3 years ago, less than a year before he came home. I knew he was a different man than the friend I had in High School, but I also knew that he was the same. When we married when he was in the throws of this illness, before he knew what the monster was that was taking over his body. I had a clue- but saying "The P word" was out of the question in our house. He didn't have it and that was final. After a few very violent nights, tearing apart our house and sufficiently scaring the crap out of my son and me both, I knew for sure, and so did he. I told him we needed marital counseling. We sought help at a Vet Center, because there were no paper trails and he didn't have to use his last name- he was so paranoid about losing his job for seeking help. At the first appt, the counselor told him he wanted to see him back, for a PTSD assessment- he didn't go back until Months later- when he felt like he was going to do something drastic if he didn't talk to someone, and after I begged. After finally consenting to the assessment and opening up about it, things got worse... everything boiling to the surface, rising up out of that deep dark hole he dug out in the middle of his heart and reserved just for the horrors of the war. About 4 months later, he tried to over dose on his sleeping medications. The part when you said that you knew- that you expected it.... it's so true. I was numb, I felt guilty for not doing something- anything- before he felt like taking his own life. He was sent to an inpatient facility, it was the longest week of my life. He is doing great right now, sober, on meds, and keeping his counseling appt., but I am afraid everyday that this is just the calm before the storm. I now that this peace will not last forever- it never does with this monster. You may be able to chain it up, hold it back for a while, but eventually it rears its ugly head. It lashes out at the most insignificant thing- crumbs on the counter, too many light on in the house, someone used all the hot water, I could name a million. All I can do is be here- put on the the ear muffs when he spews the venom during one of his "moments", try to keep my kids safe and with the knowledge that Dad loves us, he is just confused and scared, and it has nothing to do with you or me. And make sure that my family and friends know that this is us, this is who we are. We are a family still dealing with a Soldier who never really came home. A Soldier who still fears for his life, his safety, and never will be a hundred percent comfortable in his skin. And if you cant handle it, then you might as well walk away, because I am not going anywhere. I told him that when we first started dating, when he did everything to convince me that he was no good for me, to show me that he was broken- and it didn't work. I know he might have been broken, but not damaged beyond repair, and I am willing to stick around to help put all those pieces back together. It might take years, it might never fully fit together right, there might be holes, or pieces missing, but I am here until the end, and I hope that those who choose to stay are too. I thank you a million times, for the knowledge that this is not just our life. That there are more of us out there. More wife's who love their "shell" of a husband to the end, and that our decision to stay and fight this battle with him is not a crazy one. You are truly a strong and powerful woman, and your husband is so lucky to have found you. Prayers for you and your family, I hope someday we all find the Peace we are looking for.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-79360038127393818702012-04-20T08:50:29.212-07:002012-04-20T08:50:29.212-07:00I know what you feel all to well though I wish I c...I know what you feel all to well though I wish I could say I didn't.I have known my husband since we were teenagers...to see what the numerous deployments have done to him to our family is heartbreaking and everyone close to me wonders why I don't leave. Because I love him with everything in me, because sometimes I get a short time with the man I married not the "shell" the Army sent back and that short time of having him is worth every fight to keep him here. My God keep giving you the strentghAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-54965829538930414102012-04-20T08:01:26.002-07:002012-04-20T08:01:26.002-07:00Sitting here sobbing for you. As someone else sai...Sitting here sobbing for you. As someone else said, I get it, I've been there (though not to that extent--but you know I left because I was afraid it would get to that point. For staying you are much, much braver than me!) My heart is broken for you...and at the same time (and this is awful to say out loud, but since we're being real here...) I am relieved that Brian is dead. I totally agree--they send us home these shells, these shadows of our former husbands, and dope them up and the rest is our problem. I have already been missing my husband for 3 years...at least now I know he's at peace It will be years before we'll be able to heal, if ever. I am so proud of you for your words, your actions, and for really telling it like it is!!!! Think of the thousands of wives (and probably husbands) going through the exact thing and YOU are bold enough to say it!!!! And seriously, call me any time if you still have my number, if not I will send you another e-mail. You are NOT ALONE! <br />Hugs and prayers, BrookeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-85160676780395308172012-04-20T07:51:36.635-07:002012-04-20T07:51:36.635-07:00Thank you fot sharing this! It is not easy to talk...Thank you fot sharing this! It is not easy to talk about and not easy to explain either. My husband struggles with this beast as well. You are not alone even when it feels like you are. The verbal abuse is def the worst because in the back of your head you know that it is a result.of the beast but it doesn't hurt it from hurting. We too are getting counseling n taking it one day at a time! God bless you n your Family n you all r in my prayers!MrsWard0225https://www.blogger.com/profile/03098295696952645175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-11149191032727746822012-04-20T07:25:48.623-07:002012-04-20T07:25:48.623-07:00I just want to say that you are not alone...I have...I just want to say that you are not alone...I have felt and continue to deal with every emotion you have talked about. I understand, and my heart goes out to you.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13597163520156733790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-11469678083965485892012-04-20T07:11:29.636-07:002012-04-20T07:11:29.636-07:00I'm.am.so.sorry that you and your family are g...I'm.am.so.sorry that you and your family are going.through this most difficult.time right now. I can say that I do know how you feel and I have been exactly where you are. My husband was arrested numerous.times they labeled him.as criminal that's how everyone saw.him. I lost all my friends because we couldn't do anything BC.of fear of what may happen. Noone came over BC we all had.to walk on eggshells. I have been called named cursed at, told he was going to.murder me and even had a gun tl my head and it was all times that he blacked out and doesn't remember. He loved me a.d would have ne er intentionally hurt me and I would have stood by his side and endured it for a lifetime. I do wish I would have had the understanding that you already have. I was young and bitter at all he had done at the time all I could.see was what he was doing wrong and I let that anger consume me. I stayed with him but harbored anger Inside and it effected us. I wish I would have the understanding I have now back when he was still alive. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to get to where we need to be. God bless you and your husband. Thank you for serving too. Keep your head up. I can't say it gets easier but look for the good moments. Also I have never thought of the it the way you put it "the Army sent home my husband's shell" that is so true amd heartbreaking. I love you and your family with a connection only families with PTSD can understand.kaceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11060747156366118815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-10103498346549294542012-04-20T06:59:29.836-07:002012-04-20T06:59:29.836-07:00*hugs**hugs*Kristenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07670157414339809274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-48699035003138971602012-04-20T06:31:46.165-07:002012-04-20T06:31:46.165-07:00Sitting here in tears for all you have been throug...Sitting here in tears for all you have been through. I can only imagine how much this will help others to know they are not alone. I know your writing has helped so many to know that their experience is not abnormal and to give the courage to speak up to not only find help for their soldier but to know it's okay to find help for themselves too. You are an incredibly amazing person. Please know that even though I may not have the answers, I ALWAYS am here to listen. You still have many who love you and care about your well being - they may all very well "live in the computer" - but that love and support is no different than if they lived next door. <br /><br />I hope this next chapter brings the calm that your family deserves and that you and your kids have many brighter days ahead with new happy memories just waiting to be made. Love you!Staceyhttp://www.marriedtothearmy.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-19790940219284704812012-04-20T06:27:24.680-07:002012-04-20T06:27:24.680-07:00It's hard to put into words how incredibly pro...It's hard to put into words how incredibly proud I am of you. This had to be the most difficult post you've ever written. Thank you for putting into words what so many cannot understand or relate to. My God, I wish I could reach through this screen and hug you.TorreyLisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08420171746964501464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-16288881827624536382012-04-20T06:10:49.851-07:002012-04-20T06:10:49.851-07:00Dear K -
I love you & your heart and am conti...Dear K -<br /><br />I love you & your heart and am continuously amazed by your courage. I (and FOV) am here to help no matter what. ((HUGS)) honey, ((HUGS)), ((HUGS)), ((HUGS)).<br /><br />-BrannanFamily Of a Vethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02509822301628914602noreply@blogger.com