tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post7703014476559267052..comments2024-02-26T19:17:44.872-08:00Comments on Living with PTSD and TBI: What Happens When the Battles Are Done?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-30124063464058360932012-12-19T14:59:51.278-08:002012-12-19T14:59:51.278-08:00My husband was a Sergeant in the NY Army National ...My husband was a Sergeant in the NY Army National Guard for 17 years and served at the WTC Ground Zero. We met and married after his service ended but now I am left with trying to deal with the aftermath of the permanent damage it caused in my husbands emotional, physical and financial well being. When the 9-11 attack occurred his NY National Guard troop was activated by the Govenor of NYS and because their activation was not from the President or from Congress my husband has been denied from the VA all medical benefits for his medical injury that occurred from his exposure to the toxic environment at the WTC Ground Zero. <br />My husband suffers from PTSD and is on a nebulizer breathing machine 3 times a day.<br />Thank you for taking the time in reading my story.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-32026274372861081072012-12-19T14:50:48.224-08:002012-12-19T14:50:48.224-08:00My husband was a Sergeant in the NY Army National ...My husband was a Sergeant in the NY Army National Guard for 17 years and served at the WTC Ground Zero. We met and married after his service ended but now I am left with trying to deal with the aftermath of the permanent damage it caused in my husbands emotional, physical and financial well being. When the 9-11 attack occurred his NY National Guard troop was activated by the Govenor of NYS and because their activation was not from the President or from Congress my husband has been denied from the VA all medical benefits for his medical injury that occurred from his exposure to the toxic environment at the WTC Ground Zero. <br />My husband suffers from PTSD and is on a nebulizer breathing machine 3 times a day.<br />Thank you for taking the time in reading my story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-49672627937843693812012-07-10T00:12:40.934-07:002012-07-10T00:12:40.934-07:00my husband's LT was KIA in Iraq. My husband b...my husband's LT was KIA in Iraq. My husband blamed himself for a long time. In an effort to find peace, i found his widow on Facebook and contacted her. We started up a friendship (although her constant declarations that it was most def. NOT my husband's fault hers died fell on deaf ears). She told me once that it has to be harder in a way for me, than it was for her. Her husband died and she had closure. She was able to say goodbye to him at his service and begin the healing process. I can't do that with mine. My husband, the one I married and sent over to Iraq died and what returned is a stranger, a mad, cranky, irritable, scared, ass of a man who is hurting so badly and there's no closure for me. So, i get what she was saying. I get what you're saying....hugs.Elisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10601177417359248951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-41820863427512187392012-07-09T08:16:34.679-07:002012-07-09T08:16:34.679-07:00You are an inspiration and I love the support I ge...You are an inspiration and I love the support I get from just your words. <br />I hope you find the missing piece.hookeymonsterhttp://bwcmf.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-21972055670604917112012-07-07T14:14:13.774-07:002012-07-07T14:14:13.774-07:00When I read the words you have shared I felt an ac...When I read the words you have shared I felt an ache that reached down to the very centre of my being. The details of your story aren't the same but the heart of it is.<br /><br />I too feel lost most days like wondering in a thick fog with my hands reaching out wildly in the air. My mind races wondering what will hit me next. I am so use to being on high alert I don't remember how to stop and smell the flowers.<br /><br />It has been a long journey and we are near the finish line. My husband's WSIB claim has been allowed. He will receive loss of earnings, treatment and medicine. Yet I cannot feel relief. I am full of anxiety and depression still has a strong hold on me. <br /><br />A friend of mine shared a saying with me. He roughly translated it to English. He said, "you are so use to eating shit that when someone places a delicious meal in front of you, you are suspicious and think it too will taste like shit."<br /><br />What does this mean? Exactly as I said earlier. I am so use to being on high alert I don't remember how to stop it.<br /><br />Every once in a while I force myself to slow down and attempt the tame the beast within. When my mind returns toward the past rehashing the hardships, I immediately stop it. When my mind looks to the future bringing the what if scenarios, I stop it. Most times. <br /><br />I try to practice mindfulness. I stop and pay conscious attention to what is happening to me at that very moment. On a hot summer day, I sit back in my chair on the front porch enjoying a nice cold glass of cola. I close my eyes and listen to the birds. I revel in the sensation of the slight breeze brushing across my face. I feel my heart beating slower in my chest and tell myself all is well. Once I do this, I am enclosed in the warmth of well being. It doesn't last forever but it helps.<br /><br />That is one way I cope with what has become of my life. My life as dictated by my husband's PTSD. I trained myself to do this. I have come to realize that I have unconsciously protected myself by putting distance between my husband and I. Don't get me wrong. I still love him but I don't let him in completely so he can't hurt me with his spite and anger. I can walk away from him easier and not get sucked up into a fight. I'm not saying it doesn't affect me because it does. But it doesn't hit me hard like the flu. More low like an infection spreading throughout.<br /><br />I have nightmares. He's yelling at me and smashing things. He is yelling and hurting everyone I love. Everyone is angry with me. Each way I look, I see hateful faces staring at me. <br /><br />Every night I dream of moving out of my home into a decrepit mouse infested apartment. I am crying hysterically because I have uprooted my family to live in this condemned building. I am screaming at my husband for forcing me into this situation. I am scared because the structure is not sound and it could all come tumbling down around us. I don't understand why we can't go home. I feel devastated and abandoned.<br /><br />I understand what the dreams mean. I feel like my husband upsets so many people who then look at me to blame. I feel no stability or security in our home. I want my husband to be a source of strength for me but he isn't.<br /><br />It's all just so exhausting. I want to lay down and wait for it to all go away but I know that is not going to happen. I have to get up and take care of business. So I drag my sorry ass out of bed again. I work. Clean. Pay the bills. Take care of my family.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17024271760114285305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-22574991665111705252012-07-06T13:16:46.192-07:002012-07-06T13:16:46.192-07:00Hugs Honey, I wish there is any advise I could giv...Hugs Honey, I wish there is any advise I could give you! I know we need to take care of ourselves, it's easier said than done. I am sick of fighting the fight, with nothing in return. I love the way you choose to express yourself, I wish I could do it just like you. You have a lot of friends, you just need to reach out and drop your fears.Lost in the VA Purgatoryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10344398935240477329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4084876361608306937.post-83586317239757281212012-07-04T21:30:09.698-07:002012-07-04T21:30:09.698-07:00I can tell you that this is something I face. You...I can tell you that this is something I face. You are not alone. It feels a lot of the time that we receive praise, recognition and encouragement from people we barely know, while we are begging for the slightest bit of attention from those we love the most. Don't give up. I am quite positive that you have a purpose. I know, I am just another faceless person who has only ever talked to you in blog comments and email, but giving up is the easy way out. At least it is to me. You will find out who you are, even in the next chapter of your life. The challenges never completely go away, they just change. At least that is true in my case! Hang in there hun!Alishiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06505372554379775215noreply@blogger.com