Saturday, October 9, 2010

A Look at the Mistress

I got this email earlier today from a Veteran and his Wife which kind of surprised me and thought I would share:

"I love your blog, but really can't see you as anything more than negative although very personnel in your feelings and life with PTSD/TBI. Is there more to you than just these issues? Not that I am meaning this in a bad way, it just makes you seem less personable. I read your blog like a bible and share with my husband since we have similar issues. Even he has mentioned it on several occasions that we don't see much of the USM behind the issues at home. Hope that doesn't sound bad" 

It doesn't sound bad at all! Trust me, I get some nasties in emails as well as the ones from families like mine! Just kind of surprised that someone would ask me,well about me! as a real person behind the PTSD/TBI? To be honest with you, you aren't missing much! I will answer your question though and hope that it makes me seem more real and easy to relate to. Here is what's behind curtain number one, Uncle Sam's Mistress:

I am an avid reader...would rather read than watch t.v. sometimes. Love authors that write crime fiction and the gorier the better. All the twists, turns and mystery just piques my interest so much that I can read on an average, around 20-40 books a month. I love to cook and try new things, so am known to haunt the Food Network shows and sites online. Haven't been able to master homemade biscuits, but try all the time. I would very much like to write a book, although I am not sure what I would write about or even if my writing is something worthwhile of a published book! I am a paranormal junkie with such shows as Ghost Hunters, Ghost Adventures on Travel channel, and not to afraid to admit that I once had such an experience as a child that it has left me curious and definitely interested in such subjects, leading to my addiction of these types of shows! 

I love people, although that has somewhat waned since my husband has come home. I do better with men than women as friends because I can't really fit in with the whole idea of shopping, getting nails done, etc. I hate wearing pantyhose and skirts, but time to will see me in them and bitching all the way! I am college educated, well read although my TN roots sneak in from time to time on my English skills. I am more of a Tom boy although there is a secret feminine side to me that likes getting my hair done, painting my toe nails a fire engine red, and wearing girly underwear. I am mostly all Tom boy because I grew up with brothers. A recent found horse lover, I am a huge fan of my German Shepard who is my side kick here at home. I have three boys, all of whom I adore but sometimes would love to ship off to pre-boot camp! 

I am a member of the Disabled American Veteran's Auxiliary which I enjoy once a month pot luck dinners with much older members. My husband and I are the youngest people there, but we do love hearing the stories and being around other Veterans from different wars. I am one of the FRG leaders of our unit here in town which I enjoy most of the time, and that keeps me busy as well. We are one of those FRGS that are trying to set an example of how an FRG is supposed to be and so far doing a hell of a job! I have many other organizations that I will pitch in to help from time to time, and really that is my time to escape the hell at home.
I am a candle and soap maker which is my therapy and my ability to show my creative side and be imaginative. My business, Double HH Candles, has been in operation since 2006. I started it as a deployment blues buster and to help my husband and his fellow "hooch" mates combat the smell from a nearby human excrement/trash burn area. Before I knew it, the word had spread and I was making candles for areas of Iraq that didn't even know my husband. As the deployment went on, the more I was making candles and trying to keep up on my husband's military pay. I decided to start selling them here in our area of TN to local banks, shops and businesses to help me keep covering the costs of sending and making these donated candles. 

The idea blossomed into a full scale non-profit business and one I am quite proud of. It's very hard some days, especially when the email box is full with requests from some of our guys and gals in different branches, and days where I am struggling to keep up with the rising costs of the supplies and making enough money to keep it going. However, somehow it just worked out and has in the last four years. has sponsored my website the last three years which has made it so much easier for me to accept orders. Recently, I found out about Wounded Warrior Wives through Operation Homefront, and was the first organization to have anything to do with us as a family, couple and just me. I created a new scent for this group, and after costs, the full profit will be donated back to them. I use the "Pass it on" method so when one soldier gets a candle, there are others to share with people. It's by word of mouth and the love I put into the candles, that has made this a worldwide business. To date, I have donated around 10,910 candles. I want each military member to have a piece of home, for those that aren't getting mail to get something special just for them, for wives left behind to know how much they are loved and appreciated, and for those military organizations and FRGs to have a little help and boost.

All of this, plus my boys keep me a'hoppin most of the time. I am an honest person with a big heart. I write from just that and often times, wear my heart on my sleeves so I do get hurt and used sometimes. I am a terrible romantic, a fiery patriot of our country, and I pray every night for everyone, especially for those that need the most help. Don't know if the Big Guy upstairs is listening to me or not, as sometimes it feels like he forgot us the last four years...but hopefully he has.

I have a deep seeded aversion to things like Bleach (makes me sick as a dog), water chestnuts, liver, fried okra, pudding and my mother in law. I love love coffee, anytime but with just a hint of cream and sugar. Don't do Starbucks, or flavored coffee...just fresh ground beans will do just fine for me. I love sparkling wines, beer is even better and feel most at home comfortable, behind my big ass gas grill. Hahah! I hate people who think I am amazing, or heroic...because I am most definitely not a saint and don't do anything that I think is special or out of the ordinary that anyone else could do if they wanted to. 
I am an antique collector, concentrating in old advertisements, Coca-Cola (not reproduction), Uncle Sam and old War/propaganda posters, Americana and and I have been none to pick up a trashy romance novel or two because I have am a severe romantic at heart.  I drive a Tahoe out of spite because I don't want to use a Mini Van, although with my boys...a small school bus would be nice to drive. Not an outdoorsy type, terrified of heights, bugs of all kinds and jello seriously disturbs me to a whole new level. I like to think I have a great sense of humor although here lately because of my husband, I am a little more sensitive than I used to be.  I am huge music lover who collects songs. I have a collection from the 40's all the way until every category. I have one of those memories that can mentally record the music and lyrics, however I can't remember most of the time what the hell I did yesterday!

Little shy, little outspoken when I feel comfortable around people, and my husband and I are so different people are still amazed that we are married if they know either one of us. Hahahah! I don't tolerate liars, braggarts, or people who think they are better than everyone else. I worry too much about a lot of things I shouldn't and have to learn that I could never change it but still worry about it anyway. Biggest fear is dying and not being able to do all that I set out as accomplishments in my life.

So that is me. All in one nutshell. Hopefully, that makes me as real and someone you all can relate to! Thanks for wanting to know about me....seems kinda weird to not write about PTSD or TBI!

Just the Mistress in All her Worded Glory,


  1. Love this post! I have thought about doing a similar one but I feel as if I don't know who that person was before he got hurt.

    USM did forget her amazing sense of humor and her southern sayings that I try to memorize but can't.

    She is also resourceful. She reaches to the end of the earth to find ways to help other's out.

  2. Then you need to do it! I was surprised because as I was sorting emails into their proper folders for blogging purposes later, I was like....what the heck do I do about this one? I hate for anyone think that I am all negativity and not a human! I think we all as bloggers should take one post and just let people know who is the person behind the screen. lol I will have to make you a list of my sayings like "Hotter than a six petered billy goat", "Loonier than an outhouse rat", and "one mason jar short of a moonshine run"....Hahahha! I didn't even realize I had sayings! Thanks WWS...please do a post...I would be very interested although I know some about you...but not all!

  3. That would be me, the psycho from NJ. I hope I didn't offend you with my stupid question! I guess we just wanted to know more about the person behind the issues. I like to read to and it frustrates me sometimes when I get on sites and blogs. Its like reading something that just appeared with no person behind it. Now I can relate to you and say, ahhh this is what she would say when something like this comes up. I know its dumb but am so glad you answered! Wounded Wife Soldier, I read your blog as well and love it. I know my request sounded so dumb but I guess I am nosy. My husband was injured in an IED explosion and lost his eyesight. He does suffer from TBI and PTSD. I read to him often from the blogs i follow as he seems to enjoy listening. We will talk about some things that we find or can relate to such as the hyperbot. I wish you all the luck with that and please post with updates. Thanks USM for taking the time to answer me. Looking forward to the next post! Anne Marie

  4. AM, there is no such thing as a stupid question! The only stupid questions are ones that are not asked. You did not offend me at all! Please don't think that. I was just surprised to see an email asking a question in regards to me, and not PTSD/TBI! I am so sorry about your husband but am super glad he finds my blog worthy enough to have you read it out loud. Wife of A Wounded Soldier I am sure, will see this...if not, I will remind her to definitely update on the TBI treatment. I think it's awesome you and your husband can talk about some of these things! I bow down to you! I knew from your name that you weren't a nutcase as I stated in my email! You have sent several questions in the past and I recognized your unusual email addie! Thank you for reading and asking me about me. Hopefully I seem a little less cardboard and real now!!!

  5. Wow, what a great post! I've touched on the subject in my blog but didn't delve in like you did! Like Cheryl, I struggle to know who I am post injury. I think I have changed as much as my husband has! Once again, thanks for sharing!

  6. I love all of your worded glory :)

    left you some love on my blog today.... check it out!

  7. My book, "Reconciliation, A Son's Story" and blog shares much information on how families of combat veterans acquire the same symptoms of PTSD as their parents returning from war. Thousands of families live with the legacy of war long after the event when PTSD is not treated effectively for both the combat veteran and family Wmembers. I'm 65 and have recently learned of my life long symptoms of PTSD acquired as a result of living in a toxic home environment with a father who was diagnosed with "battle fatigue" following the end of WWII. Thousands of baby boomers need information and help no matter how long after the event so they can achieve treatment and peace of mind.


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