Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Positive, Uplifting and All That Crap

In my search for other spouses dealing with Combat PTSD Veterans, I have met some wonderful people along the way. Some with whom I talk to almost every day, organizations that I have bookmarked and will research more and encountered some strange ones as well.  For the weird ones, this blog is for you................

Last week I was approached by a "no-named" military spouse blog who at first was sincere, supportive and encouraging. "No name blogger", wanted to add me to her site as a contributing writer. Now, I am currently on the PASP site with the owner Scott Lee along with another fellow mil spouse (PTSD Caregiver) who is dealing with the same issues. It has been so far, a wonderful place to write and have made some wonderful friends. Naturally, I wish to explore any avenues I can get my hands on so I may reach out to others who are in my situations, and so agreed to be a contributing writer on the offered site.

Three days later, I received an email appreciating me for my "willingness to write on their site, but it was decided that my blog wasn't uplifting or positive enough for their tastes after thoroughly reviewing my site". They want to be able to provide spouses "a more positive learning experience about the Army and military families". I wasn't really mad, nor was I irritated....more disturbed and offended. The point behind my blogging is so other spouses who in their own search for help, will know what they feel is completely natural and they aren't alone in their feelings. Some days I feel as if I am literally drowning in a pool of contempt, sorrow, anger and loss. I want for other spouses to know they can come here, read what I have to say and be able to comment without the shock factor or be labeled as a bad spouse who isn't supportive.

To "No Named Blogger", I don't know what world you live in or what you may be smoking....but there isn't much about PTSD and TBI that is uplifting or positive. Dealing with mood swings, sometimes violent outbursts, depression, forgetfulness, and avoiding family and your children is just some of the things I can not spin in a positive light. Having to remind my husband that he needs to shave or shower, isn't too uplifting when you suddenly realize you are more a parent than a spouse. Dealing with the frustration and resentment of three children can no way be turned into anything more than the way I say it is. I don't think I have heard "I love you" in six months, nor have I had someone to lean on in three years to care for me when I am down and out, or sick. Our family, our entire existence now revolves around my husband and taking care of him. How do you expect anyone to honestly sit there and think of anything remotely positive about all this?

I will be a smart ass and say that the most positive things I can tell you is the fact he hasn't committed suicide, he hasn't gone postal and I am not an alcoholic in this long process. In your "sunshine and lollipop" world you live in, it must be nice to be able to seek out such perfection and uplifting experiences. However, I can say that you are no better than those who label PTSD and hang a heavy stigma upon our soldiers. You are simply shoving what spouses are seeking, to the side and sweeping PTSD/TBI under the rug.  To do this, you are making us feel as if we are wrong to feel the way we do while we look for others to talk to. You are misleading what representation of PTSD you are giving by not offering advice, resources or real stories for them to relate to. You are insulting us spouses who are dealing with it, by giving a false outlook to others about our spouses who are living with a constant battle.

As for your decline of my invitation you sent, that is fine. I would not want to waste the truth or my words on someone as shallow and ignorant as you. As for uplifting, I took the above picture this evening outside my home just for you so no one can say I didn't try to be nice. Good luck on your venture of giving spouses a false sense of security and hope one day it will come and bite you on the arse. 

To the Advertisers, I really wish you would not leave comments for me. I have no need for mortgage refinancing or a payday loan. I do not need anymore advertisements of offers for porn, availability of buying narcotics from Mexico, nor do I have a South African Family member or sugar daddy that has left me over a million dollars. I am up to my ears in natural remedies, vitamins and acupuncture. If you served in the military, I am sure you would laugh as I do...but obviously you aren't. While I appreciate the lovely comments about my posts or blog in general, the truth of the matter probably aren't reading crap and I don't need yours.

As Always,

Uncle Sam's Mistress


  1. I read every word. Those fools are causing more hurt than help. I Love You, and those post comments are from automated spam bots.

  2. Aww thanks K!!! I love your comments on both mine and D's...well, except for the ones that make me snort coffee up my nose. Those I could do without! Hahaha!! It's infuriating how some of these sites make PTSD seem so simple. Five dollars says they don't have a family member who suffers, nor have they ever been around anyone ever with PTSD. It's those I would like to send my husband too and let them live with it for at least a week. Other than that, or a good ole fashioned switchin'!
    Love you too! Thanks for reading my blog.

  3. I forgot to add about the spam bots...didn't know that! Learn something new everyday! Was wondering how some of them were finding me!! Hahaha! I was sorta sad though I didn't have an uncle in South Africa that would help me with my husband's spending habits though. ;)

  4. Amen to everything you have written. I am totally offended by the "Rose Colored Glasses" brigade who's attempt at filtering and disinfecting the news to milspouses who have not yet dealt with PTSD/TBI but sadly may have to in the future is nothing short of censorship.

    Ugh, I can feel my BP rising. Breathe D, breathe!

  5. Count to ten...I figured you might like this post since you had the same happen to you. I love the Ros Colored Glasses Brigade...we need to refer to them from now on as that D!!! Hahaha! The RCG Brigade! Hey you know what? They are just missing out on all our uniqueness! We both bring it to the table and they are too busy trying to cover up the foulness they are cooking!


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